Hello World, we’re still here!

May 23, 2015 at 12:44 am (nothing's wrong)

Things are changing, but we’re changing also. I’m still ignoring time. I’m still worrying. I’m still afraid. Also this

When someone you love is in pain, you improve. You improve on anything else. Because you don’t want to add to that pain. You are closer, you are doing things differently. You pause. You pause inside. I paused inside.

There is more to this world than our eyes see, much more than our brain is capable of understanding. It’s fun to understand, but it’s best to feel.

I’m not going to pretend I’m something else, I’ve pretended enough.

On the other hand, I’m sad that I’m not going to be able to walk next to the North Sea again. It helped me before. I made a special connection there. My soul was a bit under the weather at that time. Although I had a different sense of magnitude back then. I thought I lost it all. I did lose a lot, but worse challenges were set up for me in the not so distant future. The sorrow from those days, all of it, it’s in the past now. It took me about 5 years to get over it. I’m sorry it took me so long, it might have been strange for some persons around me.

It’s hard for me to imagine the future. I wish I could just freeze the current moment. It would be even better if I could travel some 3-4 years in the past and freeze there, but it’s hard to bargain over time freezing.

There’s so much to share, so much inside that needs to get out. Maybe some other night, though.

I have trouble sleeping. I have trouble dreaming. Though some troubles have gone away. It seems like I only have a few troubles to bother myself about at a time. Others are buried, waiting to come out.

I used to hate summer, but now I have come to like it. The constant hot air is annoying, also my light sensitivity is pretty annoying, but I like wearing sun-glasses, so at least I have a good reason for wearing them. I like the starry nights, I wish I could see the stars like I did before, no metaphor here, though, it’s just my poor sight that is troubling me. Thunderstorms are a plus too. I wish the nights were a little longer, though. Nights are great when you need to look inside your soul. It’s probably a contrast thing. Just kidding, I’m sure some parts of my soul can easily be confused with the darkness of the night. Not all of them, though.

I love paragraphs.

There is a lot happening around me. Everyone I know is doing something big, way bigger than before, way bigger than what I’m doing. I think I’m still adapting to adulthood.

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There is no end to this…

June 12, 2014 at 2:33 am (d)

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Rock bottom

March 13, 2014 at 4:01 am (life, lost control)

How do you know when you reach rock bottom? Oh… you just know.
It’s the same time the dark thoughts crawl through your mind. But you ignore them, they must be ignored. And you are left with the shame of reality, all the mistakes that hang on the line of your past, present and future, tightening it.┬áSNAP!

Where are you now?
You are lost. You lost control…

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Oh,

July 3, 2013 at 1:34 pm (nothing's wrong)

Oh, you’ve got green eyes
Oh, you’ve got blue eyes
Oh, you’ve got grey eyes
And I’ve never seen anyone quite like you before
No, I’ve never met anyone quite like you before

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Tarziu…

July 1, 2013 at 2:22 am (copilarie, dragoste, mama)

E tarziu din nou. Linistea noptii nu poate sa deranjeze galagia din interior. Nici macar un tren gol, care trece in departare, nu-si suna cantecul lui ruginit. As vrea sa traiesc in lumea fotografiilor alb-negru. Ele reprezinta un loc in care bucuria e pe primul loc. Pozele cu ursul maro, cu caruciorul, cu bradul imbodobit, un brad impodobit cu zambete. O inocenta rar intalnita in lumea aceasta nebuna.

Visez mereu la vremuri cu soare potrivit, la acel moment perfect din copilarie, cand echilibrul interior nu era problema, ci o setare absurd de obisnuita. O groaza de locuri, care inca exista, in care, teoretic, pot evada oricand.

Exista niste lucruri inexplicabile de care te atasezi fara sa-ti dai seama si ajung sa faca parte din tine toata viata, de exemplul trenurile. Trenurile, mai ales cele mici si inguste, cele care treceau calare pe podul de fier. Un sunet de tren in mijlocul noptii poate sa declanseze o stare de implinire, cat nu ar reusi 1kg din cea mai buna ciocolata. Sa te plimbi cu bicicleta pe langa tren, sa te opresti si sa-i faci cu mana. Un tren gol. Cateodata unul plin. Cu ursi.

Trenul cu ursi nu e o metafora, e o realitate pe care doar unii dintre noi o percepem. E un sentiment ce depaseste iubirea, de cele mai multe ori. E un vis. E, probabil, cea mai frumoasa poezie scrisa vreodata.

Sunt momente cand cauti scaparea. Cand lucrurile din jur iti strabat axonii in sus si in jos. Dar scaparea nu se gaseste undeva in exterior. Pentru ca locul cel mai sigur e tot inauntru. Poate fi un “inauntru” comun, pe care il imparti cu cineva important.

Inca e tarziu. Desi, nu e niciodata tarziu. E mereu devreme.

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Time is..

June 17, 2013 at 12:10 am (nothing's wrong) ()

Time is such an overrated concept. Cause one moment of bliss beats eternity anytime.

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31st of November

November 30, 2012 at 3:04 am (autumn, love, me, you)

i’ve once loved a girl
i like to think i still do

somewhere in the past life felt like a french movie
cause french movies are perfect

sounds and music grow together
and bring back memories from the past
in a black and white picture
in my mind

some things couldn’t last
or could they?
perhaps
it’s all about the house of choices
that i built
but let’s leave it in the past

the smiles, the hugs, the simple laughs
it’s all a box inside my heart

and boxes will be closed and opened
and boxes will be stacked.

the end.

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30th of November

November 30, 2012 at 2:43 am (autumn, me)

my soul is empty
my heart is empty
and empty is my brain
something must be full
my dreams are full
of hopes, of hopes and pain
no snow, not yet, nor…

… i drop my smile
it breaks and shakes
i start my flight
and run again
i lose my mind
and start to think
drops of water,
drops of autumn
drops of ink

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Friendship is Fun

June 1, 2012 at 10:02 pm (nothing's wrong)

Sometimes you think it hid somewhere and days of silence pass by and then it pops out out of nowhere making a funny face, but it doesn’t work this way. Friendship doesn’t comes and goes, friendship stays, it’s always there, always around the corner. It’s about sticks found below a very important bench in a park, it’s about endless debates about nothing important and sometimes about very important stuff, it’s about ice-cream, about chocolate, about walking around, about being silly and dropping bags of chocolate over and over again, about shopping, about stories that never happened, or ones that did, about trains running on tracks above us, just like in a sci-fi prophecy from the past. About many more things. Friendship is always building itself. I like it a lot!

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October 4

October 4, 2011 at 12:27 am (nothing's wrong) (, )

A year has passed? Possibly. But that’s far from important. Constantly relating to the past, makes the present difficult. For me, a couple of hours have passed, since the most recent great day I can remember, while the future awaits still, in silence and unexpectedness.

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