i’ve once loved a girl
i like to think i still do
somewhere in the past life felt like a french movie
cause french movies are perfect
sounds and music grow together
and bring back memories from the past
in a black and white picture
in my mind
some things couldn’t last
or could they?
it’s all about the house of choices
that i built
but let’s leave it in the past
the smiles, the hugs, the simple laughs
it’s all a box inside my heart
and boxes will be closed and opened
and boxes will be stacked.
Just to find my empty room again, full of memories and mixed emotions.
I had time these days, to think. I tried to forget, but I couldn’t. It overwhelmes me, the feeling of loneliness and cold. I thought… and I have a couple of stories to tell.
To begin with, I miss that train station…
I woke up today, just after a heavy sleep. Woke up… just to see myself sleeping again.
But, to my amazement, I felt something incredible. With my feet wrapped in the sand, just like Belgian chocolate, the freezing water of the north got me, kicked me. And I just stood and watched. Cause it brought me relief. The grey pale sky, the small, loud waves, they all ate me, ate all my fears, all my problems, all I ever had anyway. I wanted to stay, I wanted to live there, to watch, to let it overwhelm myself…
Was so beautiful.
Like honey falling from my spoon the same morning, creating a maze, spinning randomly. A maze to my heart and soul. Or a random maze to someone else’s. More sweeter than honey, more powerful than the sea, and ultimately more powerful than me.
Two eyes suddenly displaying in front of me, everytime I try to get my mind of regular stuff. Those to eyes I could watch forever. Now lost.
Lost and lonely… blocked… thoughts…
It’s a complicated morning, as everything I said last night refreshes inside my head over and over again, like a tornado that may just hit everything I created. And there’s only one good thing I ever created: our nice house, a ray of light in the middle of the dark forest, the only place I feel secure and happy. Where I want to forget about all that is evil and wrong. I left my heart inside, so, perhaps, I act different when I walk outside sometimes. It’s dangerous outside. We shouldn’t walk outside…
I’m so sorry.
Break IT down… so IT won’t stay
Tie IT down… so IT won’t stay
Here I am, back to my shelter… There’s the some sort of protection around… I’ll be hiding a bit, searching a bit… maybe I can find myself again.
The sky is purple and it’s raining wild. The windy atmosphere throws the sand off the deck, water blessing it’s rough surface. It’s dark, yet only inside, yet only sometimes, yet never as only I can feel it, yet I tend to talk about it, once in a while…
It’s late again…
It’s coming…it’s my time to let you hide
Can’t keep you trapped inside
It’s here now…it’s the point of no return
So, fuck off, evil thing. I need control again. I need to be myself. you’ll have to leave. you don’t even need to be called somehow… you don’t even exist… you’re dying… you’ll not hurt me again, you’ll not hurt her again…
Fading out into those better days
Surrender to the joy you give…
Exchange my future for a priceless smile
It seems to be the perfect trade
i LOVE her, cause she’s the most beautiful thing in the world, cause she’s the most wonderful smile in the universe, cause it’s her eyes i see every night, when i close my own, cause the all the sugar in the world can’t exchange that sweetness…
destroy all you can, but you can’t destroy that.
It seems the perfect spot…to lose
To feel again….
Would you feel my word?
More than words can say…
It’s done… :)