How do you know when you reach rock bottom? Oh… you just know.
It’s the same time the dark thoughts crawl through your mind. But you ignore them, they must be ignored. And you are left with the shame of reality, all the mistakes that hang on the line of your past, present and future, tightening it. SNAP!
Where are you now?
You are lost. You lost control…
For some us, it can’t wait until December to get in the mood of celebrating. A late night cup of that perfect tea can bring wonder in our minds and release our imagination beyond the unthinkable, it can snow inside our heads, it can bring cookies to our imaginary friends.. and foes, to keep them busy while we take a break from their problems.
Any less summery autumn day can resemble the joys of winter mood, like passing by a musical instruments store and staring, for an amount of time that may as well feel like an eternity, at that bronze acoustic guitar, that brings back memories together, around a warm campfire, burning somewhere close to our souls.
In some states of mind, it can be considered rude not to leave everything else alone and focus on this great feeling when it comes around.
a typical day in the life of this bear, started with a quick overview of his icecream factory and only then he could go check the chocolate factory, his most latest business. chocolate was easy to make, easy to pack and easy to sell, it was simple and sweet, so this new job was somewhat boring, as its complexity was far inferior from the icecream one.
there, you could find lots of fillings and as time passed by, bear mixed them all up to create a totally awesome icecream, that was always so perfect. though not everyone was happy with this and the other shareholders were constantly trying to keep bear’s focus on the chocolate.
no one knows what happened next. the end
He shakes that snow globe just like the birds shake their cold wet wings on his porch every now and then.
Deep inside the woods, where time has forgot its play and where no colors ever experienced natural light, all was black and all was white. And this whole crepuscular atmosphere changed the world around. In here, physics had different rules, as you could never be sure an apple really fell on your head, as the fruit could have easily been a ball of wool or just a lonely piece of coal.
But Grey likes it here. Or at least, he thinks he does. He’s not that alone as described, it’s a small cat with big curios eyes, that also shares his place. A black one, as far as Grey would tell you, though no one really knows for sure. Not that it’s an important fact or anything. Things here are not described so much, they are what they are just because. Their simple existence tells the whole story.
Yet, naturally, Grey has questions to ask, far from this default rule. He never experienced nature as much as he wanted. He never knew spring, and sadly, he never knew autumn. As all those fallen leaves could have easily been mistaken by snow flakes. Just like the ones he observes, shaking that globe over and over again. He heard about the stars… No he didn’t! But it was only the perfect end for this world above him.
cold feet hit the ground
under the quiet night
to find the perfect path
to take me to that perfect spot
where the water is not so deep
and where the distance is all so gone.
Just to find my empty room again, full of memories and mixed emotions.
I had time these days, to think. I tried to forget, but I couldn’t. It overwhelmes me, the feeling of loneliness and cold. I thought… and I have a couple of stories to tell.
To begin with, I miss that train station…
friendly girl in the scary gothic shop
good looking couple in the maserati
lady in the amsterdam chocolate shop
helping guy in the unknown hotel
proud belgium beer store owner
english man in the english bookshop in Paris
asian ipod girl singing and dancing french on the street
metro information guy
I woke up today, just after a heavy sleep. Woke up… just to see myself sleeping again.
But, to my amazement, I felt something incredible. With my feet wrapped in the sand, just like Belgian chocolate, the freezing water of the north got me, kicked me. And I just stood and watched. Cause it brought me relief. The grey pale sky, the small, loud waves, they all ate me, ate all my fears, all my problems, all I ever had anyway. I wanted to stay, I wanted to live there, to watch, to let it overwhelm myself…
Was so beautiful.
Like honey falling from my spoon the same morning, creating a maze, spinning randomly. A maze to my heart and soul. Or a random maze to someone else’s. More sweeter than honey, more powerful than the sea, and ultimately more powerful than me.
Two eyes suddenly displaying in front of me, everytime I try to get my mind of regular stuff. Those to eyes I could watch forever. Now lost.
Lost and lonely… blocked… thoughts…
Old cities, rainy and wet.
New cities, calm, though, lonely.
Hours pass by, every day, on the nowhere road, while memories roll down by my very eyes, dripping like paint, on a big white wall.
All alone, in this place, staring at the clock, waiting, counting down minutes. I wish I would go to sleep and wake up in 3 days. There’s nothing worth living for on my own…