August 19, 2008 at 11:23 pm (delirium, life, lost control, love, under, you)

I woke up today, just after a heavy sleep. Woke up… just to see myself sleeping again.

But, to my amazement, I felt something incredible. With my feet wrapped in the sand, just like Belgian chocolate, the freezing water of the north got me, kicked me. And I just stood and watched. Cause it brought me relief. The grey pale sky, the small, loud waves, they all ate me, ate all my fears, all my problems, all I ever had anyway. I wanted to stay, I wanted to live there, to watch, to let it overwhelm myself…

Was so beautiful.

Like honey falling from my spoon the same morning, creating a maze, spinning randomly. A maze to my heart and soul. Or a random maze to someone else’s. More sweeter than honey, more powerful than the sea, and ultimately more powerful than me.

Two eyes suddenly displaying in front of me, everytime I try to get my mind of regular stuff. Those to eyes I could watch forever. Now lost.

Lost and lonely… blocked… thoughts…

Missing everything


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Fairly late Fairy tale

June 7, 2008 at 7:46 pm (delirium, love, nothing's wrong)

Silence, and everything else that goes with it. I reach my hand to the bottomless jar of worries, to pick up another fruit, just to leave my mouth sour again. Dreams of us growing up and getting together so fine, more than words could ever describe. Dreams of small problems, dealt with powerful actions, that bring joy and pride to my heart.

A carefully selected afternoon where there’s no happiness at all, just the slowest clock in the world, pouring the time in a never ending cycle of madness. There’s no where to go yet. Things will change when the night comes. Just a few more hours, perhaps. Difficult to think, my mind is numb. I always dream of a fairytale kind of ending to a day like this. Of course, it’s more like a fairytale start to the next. Ideas pumping, kicking each other’s supremacy. Love will squeeze yourself out, you mad clock…

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Tie me down, Cure me up

November 19, 2007 at 4:11 am (amen, control, delirium, illneverleaveusfallingtopieces, life, love, you)

Break IT down… so IT won’t stay
IT down… so IT won’t stay

Here I am, back to my shelter… There’s the some sort of protection around… I’ll be hiding a bit, searching a bit… maybe I can find myself again.

The sky is purple and it’s raining wild. The windy atmosphere throws the sand off the deck, water blessing it’s rough surface. It’s dark, yet only inside, yet only sometimes, yet never as only I can feel it, yet I tend to talk about it, once in a while…

It’s late again…

It’s coming…it’s my time to let you hide
Can’t keep you trapped inside
It’s here now…it’s the point of no return

So, fuck off, evil thing. I need control again. I need to be myself. you’ll have to leave. you don’t even need to be called somehow… you don’t even exist… you’re dying… you’ll not hurt me again, you’ll not hurt her again…
Fading out into those better days
Surrender to the joy you give…
Exchange my future for a priceless smile
It seems to be the perfect trade

i LOVE her, cause she’s the most beautiful thing in the world, cause she’s the most wonderful smile in the universe, cause it’s her eyes i see every night, when i close my own, cause the all the sugar in the world can’t exchange that sweetness…

destroy all you can, but you can’t destroy that.

It seems the perfect spot…to lose myself IT
To feel again….
Would you feel my word?
More than words can say…

It’s done… :)

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