See

August 19, 2008 at 11:23 pm (delirium, life, lost control, love, under, you)

I woke up today, just after a heavy sleep. Woke up… just to see myself sleeping again.

But, to my amazement, I felt something incredible. With my feet wrapped in the sand, just like Belgian chocolate, the freezing water of the north got me, kicked me. And I just stood and watched. Cause it brought me relief. The grey pale sky, the small, loud waves, they all ate me, ate all my fears, all my problems, all I ever had anyway. I wanted to stay, I wanted to live there, to watch, to let it overwhelm myself…

Was so beautiful.

Like honey falling from my spoon the same morning, creating a maze, spinning randomly. A maze to my heart and soul. Or a random maze to someone else’s. More sweeter than honey, more powerful than the sea, and ultimately more powerful than me.

Two eyes suddenly displaying in front of me, everytime I try to get my mind of regular stuff. Those to eyes I could watch forever. Now lost.

Lost and lonely… blocked… thoughts…

Missing everything

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Day Dreaming

August 17, 2008 at 1:15 am (life, love)

Old cities, rainy and wet.

New cities, calm, though, lonely.

Hours pass by, every day, on the nowhere road, while memories roll down by my very eyes, dripping like paint, on a big white wall.

<<Creating beauty>>

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Benelux

July 12, 2008 at 2:53 am (me)

Which European nationality should you have
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Belgian

Belgian

88%

Danish

75%

Italian

63%

Irish

50%

German

50%

Polish

38%

French

38%

Spanish

38%

Molvanian

38%

Dutch

25%

Turkish

25%

Russian

25%

British

13%

Swiss

13%


You Belong in Amsterdam


A little old fashioned, a little modern - you’re the best of both worlds. And so is Amsterdam.
Whether you want to be a squatter graffiti artist or a great novelist, Amsterdam has all that you want in Europe (in one small city).
What European City Do You Belong In?

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Sky with diamonds

July 5, 2008 at 12:52 pm (nothing's wrong)

The most beautiful flower in the world told the most beautiful star in the sky, about the most beautiful rain she ever saw in her entire life.

This morning, it was raining diamonds, colorful diamonds. And one of them fell on my pillow. I asked it why. I don’t deserve nothing. And it said I must take it with me all the time, as it might be the last one I get. And so i did.

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rewind

July 1, 2008 at 4:00 pm (lost control)

It would be the perfect time to use that button right now. Everything went quite upside-down today. And the smell of popcorn, that should have been fried vegetables, makes me wonder why did i bother to wake up this morning.

And here’s the story of my self dissapointed. Too bad i’m not the only one…

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Cold

June 21, 2008 at 6:42 pm (life)

All alone, in this place, staring at the clock, waiting, counting down minutes. I wish I would go to sleep and wake up in 3 days. There’s nothing worth living for on my own…

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Black

June 10, 2008 at 4:35 am (delirium, life, lost control, love)

Haven’t had a great night… Nightmares creeping in my head, just after a cold shower of panic attacks, little monsters hiding themselves in my brain, afraid of the big monsters that took over.

I hate being alone.

Browsed memories, heart touching photos, mind blowing videos. All left me standing tall in this black water that has yet to drown me. Expecting nothing, waiting for nothing. No point in sleeping, no point in living. And one more stupid test to prove me right…

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesnt make sense. NO CHEATING!

Here goes:

How are you feeling today?
Kate Bush - King of the Mountain
Not even close… Or the mountain is very small

Will you get far in life?
Modest Mouse - The World at Large

How do your friends see you?
Little Richard - Rock, Long Tall Sally
Long tall… well that’s pretty obvious

Will you get married?
The Beatles - I Want You (She’s So Heavy)
So Heavy? Perhaps an elephant. What a special relationship ;)

What is your best friend’s theme song?
Pearl Jam - Sometimes

What is the story of your life?
Bob Marley - Chances Are
Quite true…

What was high school like?
Placebo - Black Eyed
“I was never faithful
And I was never one to trust
Border-lining schizo
And guaranteed to cause a fuss
I was never loyal
Except to my own pleasure zone
I’m forever black-eyed
A product of a broken home” :(

How can you get ahead in life?
Bob Marley - Soul Captive
Not on my own, that’s for sure :)

What is the best thing about your friends?
REM - Endgame
?!

What is in the store for this weekend?
Gorillaz - White Light
At the end of the tunnel?

What song describes you?
Dire Straits - Once Upon a Time in the West
in a small town i was born ;)

To describe your grandparents?
The Offspring - Head Around You
They rock! :)

How is your life going?
The Beatles - Nowhere Man
Couldn’t have describe it better myself…

What song will they play at your funeral?
REM - New Orleans Instrumental
chilling…

How does the world see you?
The Doors - Light My Fire
this might relate to the previous :S

Will you have a happy life?
The Beatles - Can’t Buy Me Love
at least it’s not about the money

What do your friends really think of you?
Zdob si Zdub - Intro 450
?!

Do people secretly lust after you?
U2 - Original Of The Species

How can i make myself happy?
Graham Coxon - Ribbons and Leaves
leaves! :)

What should you do with your life?
Julio Iglesias - Derroche
derroche = waste
Well, I’m off for a great start

Will you ever have children?
Kumm - Now And After

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Fairly late Fairy tale

June 7, 2008 at 7:46 pm (delirium, love, nothing's wrong)

Silence, and everything else that goes with it. I reach my hand to the bottomless jar of worries, to pick up another fruit, just to leave my mouth sour again. Dreams of us growing up and getting together so fine, more than words could ever describe. Dreams of small problems, dealt with powerful actions, that bring joy and pride to my heart.

A carefully selected afternoon where there’s no happiness at all, just the slowest clock in the world, pouring the time in a never ending cycle of madness. There’s no where to go yet. Things will change when the night comes. Just a few more hours, perhaps. Difficult to think, my mind is numb. I always dream of a fairytale kind of ending to a day like this. Of course, it’s more like a fairytale start to the next. Ideas pumping, kicking each other’s supremacy. Love will squeeze yourself out, you mad clock…

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123

April 30, 2008 at 1:27 pm (nothing's wrong)

Unhappy night, followed by a dirty morning, cold dreams, thoughts about life and death spinning inside my mind. Afraid to sleep, afraid to loose control of myself, afraid I might let everyone down again.

Reasons: none

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no

March 28, 2008 at 1:14 pm (nothing's wrong)

Cold and lonely

All stars fade away

And fall apart

As the battle for this world

Is lost .

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